Words to Avoid When Reviewing Books - M-Z

I am feeling judge-y these days and have already embarrassed myself with late night scolding texts to a young friend - why am I even telling you this? Confession is good for the soul!!??

So I will be judgmental with words.

The final installment of over-used or unnecessary positive adjectives.

M
magical - (Bonk, bonk, bonk - head bonking)
magnificent - I actually like this word but the subject needs to be larger than life to make this adjective fit.
memorable
momentous - Quotes are momentous; events are momentous, It is a very rare book that is momentous;  - "Origin of Species" might be one.
mystical

N
nice - Nice is a nice word and is great for every day conversation. But books do not want to be called "nice", anymore than your blind date does.
nefarious - Just don't use this word unless you use it tongue in cheek. It's not even a positive adjective.
nutty- One person's "nutty" is another person's annoyingly frantic.

O
overwhelming - I have never seen this word used in a review but I can imagine how someone might think it is a compliment.  In pandemic times, we need less overwhelming-ness, all around.
O is not the best letter for compliments. I must resist the urge to type in any "O" adjective that comes to mind - olfactory? old-fashioned?
obvious   DON'T call a book obvious without just cause - obviously.


P
perky - Unless the book is running for Junior Miss or Mister, skip this adjective.
pretty - No, no, no, no...
popular - See "perky"



Q
quintessential - It rolls off the tongue, right? Don't use it.
quixotic - I always use this incorrectly. Its main meaning is "wildly idealistic". A secondary meaning is "capricious". The root of the word is the foolishly idealistic character, Don Quixote. BUT I always think of quicksilver or mercury, hence hard to pin down. Words are amazing.

Q words are few. That's why the letter gets ten points in Scrabble. (I get points every time I work Scrabble into a post.) (Not really.) (But I do love that game.)

R
rip roaring - Please, just don't
rootin' tootin' - Even dropping the apostrophes and putting back the "g"s will not make this combo acceptable
righteous - This word's time has passed.

S
So very many "s" words!
startling It's a new favorite. Think carefully before using it.
scary? Hmm, sometimes "scary" is all one can say.

A lot of "s" adjectives sound like they belong in a reference letter that you might write for a former student or an old co-worker. Are you reviewing the book or recommending it for a position? You decide.

T
terrific
tremendous
tree-mendous - I am not a big fan of puns.

U
unusual -  Calling something unusual is not helpful.


V
valuable 
victorious - I have seen this! Is the book a new word spewing champion?


W
warm - Use this as a verb, please. Verbs have more power.
whimsical - How does this word weary me? Let me count the ways.



X
If you find an "x" adjective, use it freely.

Y
youthful - Here is an exception to avoiding this word. If I ever publish a book, please mention the author's "youthful" voice or outlook or approach. I am feeling old these days.
yummy - No, not even for a cook book


Z
zany - See "nutty"

Sunday Selfie - The 9th year - On Top of Everything Else

NOTE:   Hi! I wrote this post awhile back BEFORE being tested for the virus and found negative! YAY! Before my brush with aging eye problems - sigh! and before being able to meet with my very best friends that I am not blood-related to, Suzanne and Doris - separately! Blessings! And life! The world keeps turning.

The 9th Year

For a lot of us, this has already been an awful, awful year.

My husband and I started with a very pleasant cruise from which we brought home some persistent, nasty, head cold with cough. (COVID-19 had not yet raised its ugly head except in far off China.)

That bug lasted five or six weeks and we had just returned to "normal" when the world stopped. In its tracks. We had to remain isolated for the good of the realm.

THEN, just about the time when we began to cautiously consider venturing outside, a policeman murdered a black man and the whole disgusting event was caught on video. The country went into a period of mourning and righteous rage from which we have not emerged.

Many days, when I wake up, I weigh the pros and cons of living.  Five months of waiting for normal have sapped my energy. The lethargy, although understandable and certainly NOT specific to me, still strikes me as overkill, self-indulgent self-pity. I am not judging anyone else here.

And then I realized something.  This is a 9th year for me. It's part of my pattern. 

When I started to keep a journal, I noticed patterns in my behavior.

Pattern #1: Stay away from me in January. That's the month after the six week Thanksgiving to New Year's frantic Holiday Awesome Superstar Competition that a lot of people sign up for, (including me, alas!). I am NOT NICE in January. I also pick fights in January. (Ooh, the first two lines of a "Gaston" parody...I'm not Nice in January, I pick fights in January. Nope. January has too many syllables.)
Since I noticed the "fights in January" pattern, I have reduced those fights to almost none. Push through, I tell myself.

And NO! I haven't moved my fights to February.

This next pattern actually took decades to reveal.
The 9th year is the worst year.  Some people dread turning 30  or 40 or some other age that ends in 0. And that birthday begins a slide of pathetic moaning.
With me it's the year BEFORE I turn a 0 age that is the absolute worst.

I am a soggy, sighing, irritable person in those 0 age approaching years. 39 was the year that opened my eyes. 29 had been bad but I blamed it on recurring miscarriages and my son starting school and other stuff.

Ten years later, I spent so much time moping that my husband actually complained to me about it.  He never complains about me, honestly. He suffers in stoic silence.
Since then, I weathered 49 (ouch) and 59 (meh).

Guess what year I am in now.  Yep. I will soon be 70.

Want to know something? I am almost happy (I can't BE happy in a 9th year.* Sorry. It's my pattern.) that all the above stuff - COVID-19, racial homicide, political worries, a tanking economy, HUGE unemployment rate, and an attack on the good old Post Office - happened in a 9th year.  I was destined to be miserable this year anyway. I am glad  that I did not waste a perfectly good year on all this brouhaha.

I send my condolences to all who have had a good year spoiled with a pandemic, a stumbling  government, the slap in the face of our systemic racism, a suffering economy, and big unemployment numbers. I feel for you. 

At least THIS year, we are all in this together.  When you drag through the days looking for relief, everyone understands.

Welcome to the 9th year.  Just push through.

*This is actually not true. I can be happy in a 9th year. I just need coffee - or good friends - to get there.

Sunday selfie - All the Little Things

On Wednesday morning, I woke and stumbled downstairs and grabbed my coffee. And I noticed something. The air felt comfortable! Not sticky. Not hot. Not muggy. Just fine.

I almost did not notice. So many things are off kilter these days. I still did not know if I had COVID-19 - (I do NOT).  And my eyes have floaters so my vision is off. The news blared from another room, a sound I am learning to hate. I had to stay away from people I love until I got clearance.

So that morning, I was not actually in the mood to notice how nice the air felt. But when I did, I sat down and just enjoyed it. I took a walk. I barely broke a sweat.

Little things can make life bearable. Little things, like comfortable temperatures, and trees, and mini cantaloupes, and sunflowers. We are awash in sunflowers. A walk in the less oppressive summer heat can build up a flagging spirit.

Because I took the time to notice a break in the weather,  I remembered that all trials pass.

The cooler weather is gone now. This morning, I came home from my solitary walk sweaty and hot.
Fall shimmers under the heat.

This time of COVID-19-and muggy heat - will pass.

I pray that I will see all of you on the other side of this craziness. Be kind. Be brave. Stay safe.

Weird Titles that I Have Read

Some books just pop up in my brain and ask, "Do you remember me?"

Some titles do, too.

What We Found in the Sofa and How it Saved the World by Henry Clark.    So there's a rare zucchini crayon in that sofa and a two headed coin. That's all I remember. But the title is emblazoned on my brain.

How I Stole Johnny Depp's Alien Girlfriend by Gary Ghislain.   He's 14 and he thinks she's just another one of his father's psychotherapy patients. But she is NOT. She's an alien and she MUST mate with the most perfect male on our planet, Johnny Depp.  Incredible - as in completely unbelievable - feats of derring-do and physics defying action ensue.  But, once again, if you can't judge a book by its cover, you can certainly get hooked by its title.

Unusual Chickens for the Extraordinary Poultry Farmer Kelly Jones.    I just updated my rating on Goodreads to 4 stars because I actually went back and re-read this book, it's that much fun. Sophie and her parents inherit her great-uncle's farm and Sophie starts getting weird hand typed letters about chickens. One of the chickens is only visible in certain lights. Another chicken has the talons of a hawk.  Chickens with other unusual qualities show up on this run down farm and Sophie must learn to care for them and keep them safe from chicken nappers. 

The Mighty Odds by Amy Ignatow.   So this title is not all THAT unusual but the book is mighty odd. (See what I did? Hoo boy!! Let me catch my breath here.) Four kids are on a bus when it has an accident and all four kids receive "super" powers. Three of the kids are your normal run-of-the-mill slightly outcast-y kids; an artsy sort, a nerd, a social out cast. But the fourth kid is the most popular girl in school. I thought that was a nice touch.
Now those powers?? Well, one of the kids can change eye color. WHOOOOAAAAA! How awesome is that! One kid has super strength in his thumbs.  Yeah! Miss Popularity can read minds BUT only when the thinker is thinking about directions. And one lad can instantly relocate - 4 inches to the left or right, I forget which. It's the first in a trilogy. I think I better put the other two on hold, right now.

I have a dozen or so books that surface from my book brain. I'll be back with more.

LBB Was THERE!

You have questions.     I know.      I had them, too.

Such as;
How did Hoobert seal himself into that box?
Why didn't anyone notice that Hoobert was not in his cell after they removed the box from the cell?
If someone helped Hoobert, how did that someone escape from the prison?
Were sausages involved?

Well, the answer is the same to the first two questions. Little Blue Bunny!

Yes. Little Blue Bunny was Dulcinator the Investigator's secret weapon in rescuing Hoobert Heever from a foreign prison.

I am still collecting details and "fact" checking them. Every time I think I understand, another question pops up and another layer of intrigue is revealed.

Stay tuned.

If only you would answer my questions!!!

StuffyWorld Update: International Intrigue

News Flash! The writer of this blog got a COVID-19 test today because she ran a fever this past weekend. No actual COVIDy symptoms - except for the headache you get when you have a fever. BUT better safe than exposing all your friends and relatives to a deadly virus, right? Enough about that!

Things have been beyond exciting in Stuffy World and Toy Land.  Since we are largely confined to socializing with each other, the granddaughter has become obsessed with gossip. "Gossip!:" she demands. "I need gossip." 

She wants to know about the secret life of our small squooshy friends.

Missy Miss and Jasper in happier days.

Romantic gossip first. Jasper and Missy Miss had a HUGE fight over pizza toppings. No seriously. Jasper Acorn, the squirrel, is vegan. Missy Miss, aka Charlotte Amalia the Chimpanzee, is vegetarian, mostly, but she LOVES pepperoni. So, she wanted to splurge and get half vegan and half pepperoni and dairy cheese.  Jasper got very upset to think animal products may have touched his vegan slice. I think he overreacted but he is passionate about animal rights.

So, they are kaput - for now. More later.

Adventure gossip: Hoobert Heever the Beaver - one of the oldest stuffies (but not the OLDEST by a long shot) decided to get into the International StuffyWorld Book of Records (ISWBR) by traveling around the world faster than any other stuffy.

The judges at ISWBR Publishing insisted that Hoobert visit three landmarks in each country he visited. In London, he went to the Tower of London, the London Eye, and, though the Granddaughter was sure he'd visit Buckingham Palace, instead, he went to Trafalgar Square.

Ready to conquer the world. Notice his Pawsport. (I crack myself up.)

He skipped France and flew to Barcelona, Spain, where he visited the cathedral which is STILL under construction. But before he could visit anything else, he was robbed. Everything, but the Euros he kept in a secret pocket, disappeared - his passport, his identification, credit cards, photos, camera, phone - EVERYTHING.

He had enough money to get a driver to take him to the Policia. But their facial recognition software identified Hoobert as being one Toothsome the Terrible, a notorious international jewel thief. (I have ALWAYS wanted to write about a notorious international jewel thief. Bucket list!!!)

They took a tail print and it was identical to the tail print on record at Toothsome the Terrible's proctologist's office. (This was Gramps' contribution to the story.)

However, it turns out that all the beavers made by Hoobert's toy company have identical tail prints. I discovered that after a couple of phone calls. The granddaughter, whose research skills surpass mine by magical proportions, found out that the tracing technology also embedded in the toys was not invented when Hoobert was made so there was no way we could use that technology to prove Hoobert was NOT Toothsome.  What a conundrum!

About this time, Interpol or Interswpol, explained that scars and nicks make identical tail prints not so identical over the years and that's when they visited the proctologist's office.  (See above.)

We are nothing if not superior investigators and we have Gramps' endless thirst for news to help us. He read about a rash of break ins of different doctor offices where certain records appeared to be tampered with - tail prints of beavers, scale prints of armadillos and the tail and bill prints of platypuses. One of those offices was that of HOOBERT'S doctor.Guess whose tail prints were missing. Hmmm?  Do you give up? Hoobert's tail prints had been inserted in Toothsome's file. Capiche?

Ah HA! we both said, and since we were in the swimming pool when we learned about all of this, we did a quick spin and dunk of discovery!

The officers at Interswpol Barcelona were no help at all in getting Hoobert released. So Dulci called Hoobert on the phone in Hoobert's cell block - (her palm computer is the BEST. Mine is too old to access all the secret schedules and info. It was also wrinkled from being in the water.) and they made a plan.

She Superfast Expressed a large empty box to Hoobert. After making sure it was empty, except for packing material, the guards left it in Hoobert's cell. Hoobert removed all the labels and replaced them with labels found hidden in the packing materials. Then he jumped in and waited for meal time, when the guards found the package and posted it to ME!!!!

I'm glad she marked it "Fragile."

Meanwhile, Interswpol found Hoobert's wallet near a train station in Frankfort, Germany, several days later. All official ID was missing but Hoobert's library card was still there. They questioned Hoobert by SW Skype and when he was able to identify all the books checked out on that card, at a time when Toothsome was KNOWN to be in Europe, Interswpol agreed to revise their records on Toothsome and require a new tail print if he was ever captured again. Hmmm, I wonder if they will ask for our help in catching him.

Who knew that our toys have such interesting lives? Dulcinator the Investigator and Nana so Spry, the Private Eye! That's who knew!

PS. Hoobert still plans on traveling around the world.  Someday.