Sunday Selfie - Fight Delight? Nah.

Yesterday, as I ran errands, I caught snatches of a radio essay on "delight". It made me smile.

The idea of "delight" is far from our minds in the dark of winter. In fact, most mornings when I wake up, delight is the last thing I consider. First, I groan because it is later than I hoped. Then I sneer because it is earlier than I want it to be. (Figure that one out.) Then I stretch and discover that the joints and parts that hurt last night still hurt this morning. Some mornings, I refuse to get out of bed, yet.

But I always do rise and shuffle through the day. Delight can catch me then, unawares. Oh, but not if I am wary.  I fight the delight because no one can make me feel - or do - anything I don't want to do.

Except...I do want to be delighted.  Even in my battle against surprising happiness, I do things that surprise me with happiness. I should just give in.

Bill Staines, after his performance at Godfrey Daniels.

 Last night is a case in point. Now, I know the name Bill Staines. He wrote a song called "Place in the Choir" that was turned into a picture book in the '90s. Then Kadir Nelson (Kadir Nelson!) illustrated the song in 2009. We sang the song around campfires in the 80s, I think.

Kadir Nelson' version.

The older book!

I know that Bill Staines has written some great songs, covered by some very well-known singers. I had never been to a Bill Staines performance, though.

I volunteered to work the counter at a place that delights me in so many ways, Godfrey Daniels, the Lehigh Valley's original listening room.  Because, why not? I mean, Bill Staines is FAMOUS!! and if I volunteer I get to see the performance for free. (Hint! Lehigh Valley peeps! It's worth the scrambling before the show and at the break to be a volunteer. The caveat is this; you will end up purchasing tickets for other shows because so many folk legends play this club.)

Delight. It hit me square in the eardrum and in the eyes - delight in music so smooth and so sweet that worries roll off your shoulders. Delight - to see and hear people of so many different ages singing together. It was like a tent meeting of kindness - delight.

His songs are about rivers, home, old dogs, bridges, rodeos, road trips, children, memories, love, loss, hope - these are the building blocks of delight. 

Today, the weather is meh! and my head aches. I could take a walk so I could complain about the wet weather and the damp. Or play foolish games on the computer, or nap.

Instead I think  that I will put my new Bill Staines CD on while I make a home cooked meal and feel delight in my home, in warmth, in coziness and in the talent of an American folk singer.

When delight jumps out, invite it in.  Put on some music. Make some soup. Set your mopey self free.

Moody Monday

Actually, Friday, Saturday and Sunday were the Moody days.  Today, I feel cooooolll - as in summer breezes blowing through my window.  Yeah.

Man, I was in a funk.  I had some very angst-ridden conversations with two people - about each other - and I came away wondering which version was closer to the truth.  When that happens to me, I begin to find cracks in all the safe places.  I start to wonder if other people have secrets that would shock or upset me... if everyone is hiding some horrid past.

Then I snipe at those people closest to me.  And I cringe at my own tone of voice.

I found the absolutely PERFECT book for my mood; Lauren Myracle's The Forgetting Spell. 

 

I suspect I may have found Darya's confusion a bit much at another time, but I was that perplexed and twisted that it was a relief to read about someone - even a young teen - who had similar feelings.   

If you read Wishing Day, you understand the set up.  The girls of Darya's town have a tradition of making three wishes (one impossible wish, one wish she can make come true, and one wish closest to her heart) by the wishing tree three months to the day after their thirteenth birthday.  Darya's family, rumored to possess magic,  started the tradition ages ago. 

The flashbacks - most involving the mysterious Bird Lady - help fill in the gaps.  Darya approaches her thirteenth birthday full of doubts.  A new friend missed the tradition of wishing.  Darya wonders if she should use one of her wishes for that friend.  Someone from Darya's family pressures Darya to use one of her wishes to solve a long standing problem.  The request is almost threatening and certainly creepy.  Darya doubts everyone, including herself.  

It was like we were emotional twins.  I feel your pain Darya and I am 5 times your age.

She makes her wishes. Whew!  That pressure is off.  And, like almost everyone else who admitted their wishes, she regrets them and hopes they work out in the end.  The pressure ends but not the drama.

Darya is the second of three sisters, all aged a year apart.  There will be one more book, for sure.  This is good because a lot of stuff is left hanging.  And I want someone to let me, and Darya, know that her wishes -or anyone's wishes -  are not the cause of happiness or pain in other people's lives. 

I had one wish - to return to equilibrium.  I read a book.  It worked.