WHY Would You Say That?

President Certainpersonio (I stole that name from Charles Dickens) continues to fill the airwaves with "diverting" comments.  Don't ask what these comments are - check your favorite news site, unless it is Fox. What we might ask is "why?" And that is the theme of today's post.

Honestly, why do we say half the things we say?  Since we have been confined to our quarters, I have discovered that I speak without rhyme or reason much of the time. I am a talker. I am not alone. Still, a lot of what I say does not need to be said.

Some of these comments are observations on life. My audience of one has heard them all many times before so what purpose can repeating them have?

Then there are the times when I interrupt a conversation because
a) a grammar mistake has been made
b) I heard a mispronunciation
c) I am sure I know more about the subject than the speaker does
d) that reminds me of a story that has nothing to do with the conversation at hand
e) I have no interest in the subject
f) I don't agree with the ideas expressed
g) I want to change the subject altogether
i) I take the subject personally and it pisses me off

Yep. I inflict all of these tortures on my husband who is confined with me. He deserves your sympathy.

We ALL do that. We do it ALL the time. Most of us want to be the Talker in Chief. In normal conversation, where the discussion is really a way to socialize and connect, these practices are annoying if overdone but they are pretty harmless.

HOWEVER, when we want to instruct or talk about important actions or ideas, or even discuss our feelings, these habits can be used for all kinds of reasons.

We grab a tangential idea in order to take control of the conversation.

We correct the speaker as a way to undermine his or her authority.

We want to distract from events or behaviors to protect our own standing or to protect others from the repercussions of their behavior.

We want to sabotage the purpose of the conversation - coming to an agreement, for example, or moving forward with a policy.

We want to turn the tables, especially when our behavior has been below par.

We hope that nothing gets decided so we don't have more work to do.

I could go on and on and on and on...

You and I can not control what all the Certainpersonios in the world say.  We can keep a watch on our own tongues.  Before we enter the fray, or throw something into the conversational pile, we should probably ask ourselves why.

 When a discussion becomes emotional, then we really have to consider our comments.

People can not un-hear things once we say them.  Consider why before you speak. You could save yourself untold grief.

Don't be a Certainpersonio!