This can be a temporary one season thing or it can stretch for YEARS!! I know. It happened to me.
I was miserable. I only have one kid. There was no other small human acting giddy and foolish over dreams and surprises. There was just this barely polite person who, honestly, had no patience for me or his father. (By the way, this phase bounced off and on for years. Sigh.)
When I am miserable, after marinating in some seriously superior self-pity- (it is one of my few native talents) -I always look for an action that will take my attention away from my misery. As my mother, the Wisest Woman in the World - the original WWW - always said, "When you feel sorry for yourself, help someone else." It works!
I searched my memory banks for help. The problem was that my memories involved sisters and brothers - pretty many of them. I had no idea how to take the games we played as a group of goofballs and turn them into something that would engage one goofball - who wasn't even talking to me except when absolutely necessary.
It all started with a kangaroo ornament, the first of my Advent Angel gifts. It was, the tag read, "An Advent Australian Animal." I found it at Ten Thousand Villages in Ephrata. I planned to find items that I could alliterate with Advent and drop them on his bed each day.
It is very hard to find items that begin with "a" that fit the holiday season. Advent Apple? Done. Advent Automobile - a toy, of course. Advent Aardvark - I tried that. I did. The Advent Aardvark was my first Advent messenger.
And then, the Advent Avenger sprang fully clothed - or not, if you are familiar with the story - into being.
The Advent Avenger turned into a calendar - and a book - that I photocopied at a local printer. And I handed a copy to each of my brothers and sisters and to others besides.
We joke about the Advent Avenger among ourselves. One of my brothers made me a sweatshirt, a photo of which you can see below.
Note the holly on the shoulders. This brother is so creative. |
The Advent Avenger kept me sane during those angsty years of growth and pulling away. They - the Advent Avenger is gender neutral because they could be anyone, even YOU! - still bring me joy and remind me to look for a hopeful way out of uncertainty.** (What?! I was "woke" even back in the early '90s.)
BTW, The Advent Avenger wants you to join the club. This is all you have to do to join. Spread good feelings everywhere. Smile. Speak gently. And if you have some holiday cash left over, here are some organizations that are spreading JOY! all year round.
The Heifer Project. Since the late 1940's, Heifer Project has provided livestock, plants and seeds to people in impoverished areas around the world. What could be more holiday-ish than purchasing a lamb for someone else?
Habitat for Humanity. When there is "no room at the inn", Habitat steps up to make homes for people who need them.
Conservation International got a 4 star rating at Charity Navigators making it a sure bet for working towards a cleaner and safer globe.
OR find a charity that is working for something that you feel is so necessary.
Have the best holiday ever. Remember that the difficult people in your life are having tough times. They have never lived through this holiday season before. None of us have.
Karen, you are an Advent Angel. Thank you for sharing this story. Wishing you much holiday happiness...as much as you share with everyone else!
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